When I’m walking a dark road, I am a girl who walks alone

I have an uneasy feeling when it comes to heights, but I’ll overcome that pretty fast. I have no problem with bugs, worms or other crawling insects, but I have a severe fear of spiders; an encounter with a veritable representative of their kind might leave me with a discomfort for the next few hours, and I totally hate, from the deep of my soul, public speaking. That exact and inevitable moment, when all the eyes are looking at me, my mind goes blank and all I can remember are 3 sentences learnt in kindergarten, but I’ll manage to successfully survive that.

Not even a crowded conference room, made of glass at an honorable height, and full of crawling spiders won’t scare me as much as darkness. COMPLETE ABSOLUTE SILENT DARKNESS. I’m a night person, I love the mysterious aura of a deep night, of the moon and the stars, the trembling shadows, the exaltation and uncertainty that comes with it, the way my hearing sharpens when I can’t see properly, the fantasies which begin to take shape when the colors and contours begin to fade, the teasing feeling that something’s always there. But I have a visceral fear of complete black, followed by complete silence. Blindness, the lack of any feeble shadow, of any frail trace of light, terrifies me, petrifies me. For me, there is no world without image, and Oedipus’ own punishment is by far the worst punishment I can imagine.

One thought on “When I’m walking a dark road, I am a girl who walks alone

Leave a Reply